Attic Chronicles 12/10/21… Hello my readers. Where was I? Oh, right. So I had been flying on the back of the 808 demigod that looked like Kenny Beats with my cat on my shoulder and I had realized that the gigantic, bejeweled piano beneath me was actually the instrument of God and that God was invisibly playing out the time and space of our reality. I had decided in a blind rage to release my grip and drop down thousands of feet to my own death so that I could land on one of the piano keys and alter the nature of existence for all of posterity.

Attic Chronicles 11/26/21...Last time I checked in with you guys, I was flying on the back of a Kenny Beats-esque demigod through the glass roof of the Temple of 808s. The following moments were definitely a blur, but when I found myself able to see again, we were overlooking this vast golden cityscape.

“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out.

“For what?” said the 6’7” figure staring back at me.

“Staying in the attic,” I said. “The hiding, the lying. Eating all of the insulation in the attic walls. I just really love The Cave YouTube series.”

He blinked, then responded “Bro… what the fuck are you talking about?”

I rushed to explain myself. “Kenny, I never meant to be there for that long, I just found a life in there that I never knew was possible.”

He blinked again.

“Who the fuck is Kenny?” he asked, genuinely confused.

Now I was confused.